The Energetic Matchmaker, Liesel Rigsby
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Leigh and Ben’s Love Story



Leigh and Ben's Love Story

 

Leigh shared her Love Story with me recently over the phone from her home in Nashville. I love that she was the one who proposed! Here’s her story in her own words…

One of the very first things I read on your website were the Love Stories. They felt so authentic and real. They were all different, but the essence of them really resonated with me. I thought to myself “that’s going to be me, I’m going to have a Love Story here one day”.

So I’m very excited to be sharing my Love Story here with you today!!

I was in a pretty toxic relationship at that time, and I knew I wanted something different. So I reached out and signed up for Soulmate School. Something about it really spoke to me.

Just OK Guys

I was always attracted to good nice guys, but felt like how do I even get a guy like that? I didn’t even know how to go about that.

Deep down it was a worthiness thing.

I was dating some ok guys, but they just weren’t what wanted, so I reached out to work one on one with you, because I knew I was ready to find my soulmate.

In my mind I wanted a great guy, but my heart was still guarded.

I remember in one of our first calls you had me visualize being with the right guy and I had the hardest time – I realized I was closed up in a lot of ways. But you stuck with me and little by little I started opening up.

And then I started dating better and better guys.

A couple of times I had really a hard time letting go of a guy that wasn’t right for me. You were hugely helpful for me in that.

You helped me to see that each guy was showing me some of the qualities that I did want and to trust that I could find those qualities in someone who was a better fit. It really helped me to be able to let go and trust that the right guy was coming.

A Letter to My Soulmate

On my the morning of my 40th birthday, I spontaneously booked a solo trip to  Tulum, Mexico.

While I was there, I had this essence of being happy, feeling good, and quite a few guys showed interest in me.

It was so cool, I wasn’t feeling needy at all or like I had to find my guy, because I was just having so much fun. I felt the richness of life around me.

In my last couple of days in Tulum, I took time to sit with myself and journal.

Sitting in my little canopy bed, I started writing and talking to my future soulmate.

It took me awhile to be open enough to be ready to do that. To be in touch with the inner knowing that I’ve always had but had lost touch with.

The work you and I did to help me feel worthy of having someone great really helped.

So… I was talking to my future husband Ben in my journal.

And I said “I’m ready to meet you, I feel open and ready”. I shared all the things I wanted to do, the ways I wanted to love him and wanted him to love me. It felt really right and really good.

The old me would have said this is cheesy, but the deeper part of me knew I was actually talking to him. I could feel that connection with the Universe.

I felt clear in: I really want this. I believe I’m worthy of it. I’m asking for it. I know it’s coming to me. And I’m going to act as if.

All the things you say, Liesel.

I felt so happy at the end of the writing, almost as if I was already in the relationship.

Meeting Ben

I came back to Nashville and met Ben a month later.

I had been on Match on and off for awhile and I had a love hate relationship with it, but I was on there and he messaged me.

He commented on a photo of mine, and usually I have a rule that I don’t respond unless they take the time to send a message. But the way he commented, he said “winter hikes are swell indeed” I thought who says “swell indeed”? I loved that.

He asked to go for a hike but the timing didn’t work out. He was casual and confident and kept pursuing me. Then he asked about contra dancing and I thought “who goes contra dancing that’s kinda bad ass. I love that too!”

The finally one day I said “I’m going to the farmer’s market, do you want to meet up?”

He called me for directions, and I heard his voice and thought “oh no I’m in trouble” because he has the best voice.

I followed him around for a minute, and I didn’t think “oh he’s my soulmate” – I just thought “oh he’s a good guy”. So I met him and we ended up spending 2 hours walking around and talking.

We talked about life and relationships. We talked about Esther Perel who we both follow. We shared a sandwich and it was very relaxed. He mentioned he had gone to Carmina Barana (classical music) the night before and if I wanted to go he’d go again with me.

I went home and looked it up and thought it looked cool. He was so easy and relaxed, I didn’t feel the need for any games, so I texted him back right away and said I’d love to go tomorrow.

Starting to Date

We went, and it was beautiful. He cried when the children sang which I thought was really cool.

He really is the perfect mix of very masculine, but also emotionally expressive which I love.

It went pretty quickly after that, but we didn’t kiss til the 3rd or 4th date. I was attracted to him, and I really liked him but I didn’t want to rush into it too quickly.

Our first kiss was at this museum that had a really old civil war graveyard. We went out there at night and walked around.  Then we made out in the graveyard, which was fabulous and fun.

Getting Serious

I already knew he had a daughter. He had her in all his pictures in his Match.com profile. That was one of the things I found attractive about him was that he so obviously adored her.

She’s here for the summers and the winter holidays. It took some time, but she and I have a great relationship now.

We moved into together a year after we met.

He started to casually ask me to marry him a year before we got engaged. It was always sweet and genuine but not a romantic proposal. More like “why don’t we get married”. He was nervous that I wouldn’t say yes because I was playing a little coy and hard to get – even though we were obviously completely together.

So I told him, “if you ask me I’d say yes”. I told him that I didn’t want an engagement ring. I’d rather have a trip. He’d been saving up to get all that ready.

We went through a really difficult event and he was great through it all. And I realized I didn’t want to wait any longer. I was 42 years old, and I was ready to be his wife.

I knew he was saving up money for the trip before he would ask me, so I decided to do something unconventional and ask him to marry me.

The Proposal

We were at the beach with my family and I thought this would be the perfect moment to ask him. Then I got really nervous and my stomach started tumbling, and I thought “how do guys do this? I don’t even know”.

We were hugging in one of the lounge chairs right on the beach and the sun was setting.

I looked up at him and said “Will you marry me?”

He said “YES!” and then right after he said “wait is this for real?” Because we’d been joking back and forth about for awhile. He got all teary and happy and we had a really sweet moment.

We went up and told my family, and they were all thrilled!

We’re getting married in November and then going on a trip to Hawaii for our honeymoon.

Manifesting Really Works

Once I met him and things started getting serious – I was like “wow this manifestation thing really works, everything that Liesel teaches and talks about and lives is true”.

I made a list awhile ago of every heart centered quality I wanted in a man, and Ben hit every one to a T.

Adores me

Honest

Trustworthy

Loves to dance  – he’s a great dancer

Emotionally open

Smart – he went to Yale

Financially stable

Loves my family – they love him too!

Easy to be with/easy going

No more than 2 kids already – only has one

Honors his health

Confident in himself

And I didn’t put this on my list but Ben is very forgiving – he lets go of things a lot more than I do

The Relationship Now

I have to say most of it was because of you, Liesel and Soulmate School. I learned so many things that I knew inside myself and had lost. Being in that environment with other women going through the same thing, and knowing you had gone through it as well and had met your soulmate helped me so much. The the way you held space for me and were so patient with me – I shifted so much.

My relationship with Ben feels so right. It’s easy and playful, and also mature, in that when we come up against something, we work though it in a loving way

We compliment each other well. We see life a similar way. Even though we have different political views (I’m middle of the road and he’s far left) we respect each other.

He’s so fun to look at all day every day. He’s super attractive to me. I love how he is in the world, how he treats people, how he treats me. I feel loved in a way where I can just relax. We both love life and appreciate it and want to be happy.

I love that he’s a performer and can sing, dance and act, and…

He’s going to sing me a song at our wedding.