Align With Love

People often assume when they meet my husband Craig that I have always had “great” relationships. It’s actually far from true (apologies to any of my exes reading this).

I spent almost all of my time from age 15 to 32 in relationships, but none them were great, in fact the long term ones were full of LOTS of drama. And one day in the midst of a particularly tumultuous relationship, my girlfriend Krista, who is happily married, said to me, “You know it doesn’t have to be so hard.”

Those words struck me. Really? But it always had been. Or if it had been easy it was only because a particular guy did everything I asked him to – and we all know that gets boring fast.

Eventually I ended the final tumultuous relationship and started looking at why I had created all this drama in my life. Several things became clear. I was afraid to be alone. I was so used to defining myself by my boyfriend that I didn’t really know who I was. And I didn’t really know what I wanted.

I knew what I didn’t want…any more relationships. I was finally done with it all.

I was exhausted.

So I decided to take some time off and figure out who I was and what I wanted – separate from any man in my life. I thought of all the things I had wanted to do in my life that I didn’t do because of a boyfriend. I had even cut my trip around the world short because I was afraid “he” might break up with me if I was gone too long.

I decided that I was no longer going to limit myself for a man. And maybe that meant I would be alone. It seemed scary, but really, much better than the alternative.

I started taking classes in intuition and spirituality and getting to truly know myself. I learned how to meditate. I learned about subtle energy fields. And I learned that I was incredibly passionate about being on a spiritual path.

And that was a good start.

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